I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% doing Yoga this weekend

You know you’re an adult in 2019 when the highlight of your weekend is going to a mindfulness festival.

But there comes a point in adulthood (between avoiding emails and wondering when you’ll win the lottery) when a detox is needed.

Big Kid Problems

Having spent the past few weeks cancelling plans to stay in and listen to Lizzo on repeat, my friend and I took ourselves out of the house long enough to go to Happy Place Festival.

AKA a day retreat where you find yourself eating copious amounts of granola while doing Tree Pose. It’s basically Chorlton in a field.

And it did not disappoint.

Betches

At the entrance, we were greeted by Pilates – so naturally we walked straight past, headed to the free smoothies and watched the whole thing from the comfort of multicoloured deckchairs. Bliss.

Next up was the Talks Tent – a peaceful setting where people of all walks of life shared their experiences of overcoming emotional hurdles. This was ruined by an angry wasp entering the teepee and attacking me and my vegan sandwich.

*attempts to deep breathe through the situation, squeals, drops lunch, carries on like nothing ever happened*

The Midult

Over at Reggae Yoga, we were late – due to the wasp sandwich incident. Out of breath, we thrust ourselves into the ‘lying down’ position. 15 minutes later we woke up. Best exercise class I’ve ever done.

Things were not so relaxing in Power Yoga. “There’s a first (and probably last) time for everything” my friend announced mid-headstand while being held upside down in front of everyone by the instructor.

Perhaps the best part of the event was the ‘anyone can join in’ Cross-Stitch table which, as it turns out, is more entertaining than Vodka shots. From now on the only club you’ll find me in is the crafts one.

It may not have been the wild festival I imagined myself going to when I’m still in my 20s but my friend and I definitely left feeling rejuvenated (and full of granola).

* Buys Yoga Mat and takes up Reggae Yoga*