The Quarter Life Crisis

Grab your coat, you’ve pulled (it over your head and got stuck)


Apart from that time my friend fell over the kerb on a night out and dragged me down with her, my favourite part of my mid-twenties has to be the sudden and unexpected fashion crisis that’s come with it.

Like most 90s kids, I wanted to rock up to every jelly-themed birthday party or primary school disco coated in lipgloss from Mizz magazine and pedal pushers from Tammy Girl.

Having come out the other side and not made it as a member of Destiny’s Child (the dream lives on) I’ve come to realise that fashion in my adulthood is not so simple but is equally as questionable……

Don’t mind me, just nipping to the shop

Between us, in the midst of ‘what am I doing with my life?’ chaos, my friends and I have taken on glitter mermaids, day of the dead, steampunk, space buns and quite frankly every single fancy dress shop Manchester has to offer – mostly to avoid the reality that our future lies in the workwear section of M&S.


But for me, my best Quarter Life Crisis fashion disaster comes in the form of a sensible decision to invest in a winter coat.

I’d nipped out on my lunch break to rummage through Topshop’s sales rails (#ballache). Having found the ideal candidate straight away, I thought I’d try on the more affordable (and extra extra small) alternative, you know, just in case.

Once I’d realised the second option was definitely not the winner, I’d also realised that the zip was jammed – and the temperature in the store was verging on Monica from Friends ‘it’s the humidity’ worthy.

Monica Friends it's the humidity
https://imgflip.com/

My tactic of trying to unlodge the material from the zip, while pondering over the other unrealistically small items on the hangers, hadn’t gone unnoticed by the young and rather handsome shop assistant.

After asking me twice if I was okay (only for me to pant in his face), he opted to pull the coat from over my head – arms stretched out, in the middle of the shop floor, with passing strangers laughing in thanks it wasn’t happening to them.

Luckily for me, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. l am now the proud owner of another Topshop winter coat which I didn’t have as much of an ordeal with.

Oh well, at least I’m prepared for that terrible winter they always talk about in Game of Thrones….

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