I Do … (want dessert)

I recently wrote about the reality of breaking-up – the chore of untagging yourself from endless holiday photos and figuring out who should get custody of the pug-patterned oven gloves (me) and the toaster (also me).

But once the initial crappery of the situation has passed, the time comes to face the world again and where better to do that than at pre-planned events you’ll no longer be attending together.

Samantha Holic

This was the case when I rocked up to my Grandma and Grandad’s diamond wedding anniversary alone…instead of with my no-longer-boyfriend.

Nothing says celebrating a successful, happy marriage like having to explain, repeatedly, to people you’re apparently related to that ‘it didn’t work out’ (while necking Pimms).

Perhaps the biggest joke of the day was that the meals had been ordered months in advance, so I was fully prepared to spend the afternoon eating two people’s worth of party food. Forget Man Vs Food this is Free Woman Vs FREE CAKE.

Chemistry Club Dating

In the lead up to the do, I was tempted to bring a date. But how much would the date mind getting there via a five-hour journey across the country with my parents to then spend the afternoon being referred to by the wrong boyfriend’s name and making small-talk with my entire family?

If that’s not awkward enough, news of the break-up hadn’t reached the hotel as I was greeted by a confused receptionist with ‘”aren’t there meant to be four of you?” “No, no there definitely three of us”.

Still, the post-break up palaver isn’t all bad when you’re surrounded by family, enjoying your holiday and eating extra portions of cake.

Girls Think I’m Funny