Yoga & ‘Pilatoes’

You know you’re an adult when you get a gym membership. But you know you’re truly an adult when you spend the rest of your adulthood complaining that you have to go to the gym.

OR you spend your adult life adoring your bulging biceps in the mirror – in which case, you’re a twat. (It’s okay we’ve all been there *pouts and flexes*).

Betches

Very few gym-goers endure the experience without facing an embarrassing incident along the way…

I’ll forever be haunted by the time I asked someone how to turn the exercise bike ‘on’ for them to reply with “you just pedal” – or that time I fainted during Yoga after too much downward dog.

Okay, byeee

In spite of my own gym failures, I think it’s my friend who deserves the crown for the most embarrassing incident.

She’d signed up to a Pilates class – not your normal type of Pilates but one that involves socks and machines (your guess is better than mine). Socks provided by reception, she gallivanted off to the class – presumably, like me, to sweat and cry for an hour in the name of exercise.

Oops

As she squeezed her feet into the socks, she couldn’t help but notice they were an odd shape or that nobody else in the class seemed to be wearing the same ones. But, after all, this is Pilates – one minute you’re pretending to be a swan, the next you’re putting your legs over your head in the hope you don’t let out a massive fart – anything could happen.

When the class was over, she headed back to reception – her strange socks in tow.

Friend: “I’m here to pay for the Pilates socks”

Receptionist: Great, thanks.

*Awkward Pause*

Receptionist: Erm, these are boxing gloves.

SILENCE

Friend: “but you gave them to me as Pilates socks?!”

You might laugh BUT good luck to the person who messes with the woman who survives an entire Pilates class with boxing gloves on her feet – imagine what she could do if they were on her hands!

And so commences the epic hipster-gymster trend –  ‘Pilatoes’, personally I think it could really catch on.

Pilatoes