Having somehow ended up in a serious relationship – I recently found myself flying to the other side of the world with my boyfriend for Christmas.
As it was my first long-haul flight, I’d geared myself up to believe that the journey would be an exciting part of the experience.
(I’d heard rumours of blankets, video games and an endless supply of snacks #SOLD).
But within ten minutes of getting on the plane, the journey to Australia quickly turned to Ausfailure when things didn’t quite go as planned……
• Find seat – next to window (ooh). Make friends with nice man next to us. Discover those aren’t our seats – no, we’re squished in the middle (next to rather large couple).Here’s a pic of the view we could have had.
• My headphones work. My boyfriend’s headphones don’t work. We ask for new headphones and accidentally give back the ones that work. We call steward and admit stupidity. New headphones provided – new headphones DON’T WORK.
• TV screen is off. Steward resets TV screen but screen doesn’t turn on. Steward has reset another passengers screen by accident. Oops.
• Discover that nail varnish has leaked all over my hand luggage. Great.
• Meanwhile, couple next to us appear to be having best flight ever. They set their screens in sync so they can watch a film together. They happily sip champagne.
• Can’t sleep all flight. Finally get some shut-eye and SLEEP THROUGH SNACK TIME.
• End of flight and boyfriend decides to de-germ with hand sanitiser. It has compressed during flight and when opened EXPLODES IN MY EYE. Cue panicked rush to toilet as my belongings roll around the cabin floor.
I wish I could say the flight back was better……but my boyfriend’s spare boxers fell out of his backpack on the way out and another passenger found them.
Footage of me getting off the plane.